Pranks A Lot
by The Illustrious Crackpot
Summary: Finn, Jake and Marceline are on a pranking spree. No one on Ooo is safe, not even...themselves?


_A/N: A commission for Unioke on deviantART._

 _This takes place around seasons two and three, so there are some differences in characters' personalities and relationships VS the current canon—for example, Finn is still deep into his crush on Bubblegum, and Marceline hasn't told anyone about her past with the Ice King._

 _Hope you enjoy~!_

 **Pranks A Lot**

(The Illustrious Crackpot)

"Oh my glob, did you _see_ her _FACE?!_ "

"HAHAHAHAHAAAAAA!"

A trio of figures was flitting through the streets of the Candy Kingdom, leaping from shadow to shadow, pirouetting and cartwheeling between the buildings. Their stealth had become unnecessary, though; the news had already spread, and nearly all the citizens had locked their doors and closed their shutters. There was no one around to see them. But that didn't affect their fun.

"It'll be _months_ before Lollipop Girl'll be able to sit down without checking under the seat cushion first!" Jake wheezed, nearly doubled up with laughter.

Finn lowered his mask to wipe his streaming eyes. "What I wanna know is, where do you even _get_ that many whoopee cushions?"

"Gotta make 'em yourself, dude! It's the only way to keep the quality up to—"

" _BOO!_ "

Both boys shrieked as a monstrous bat swooped between them, but quickly dissolved into more breathless laughs. The bat joined in, shrinking back down into the shape of Marceline.

"Best. Trickorween. _Ever_ ," she said simply, slinging her arms around her friends' shoulders.

Jake beamed. "Yeah! The Great God Jackanapes must be _so proud_."

Finn pulled a notebook and pencil out of his sash and scribbled something down. "That's...okay, that makes _twenty-two_ pranks. And the sun ain't even at the halfway-down mark, yo!"

The three of them were dressed in (what one would assume from their shape, at least) ninja costumes. Finn's and Jake's were made out of discarded bedsheets, the human's a green plaid and the dog's white with red hearts. Marceline's was all-black, all-stylish, and kinda-probably-maybe authentic pre-Mushroom War. It was so cool that the guys were too intimidated to ask.

"Twenty-four," Jake corrected. "Starchy counted for three pranks in one."

Finn duly wrote it down. "Okay, but that's still twenty-two _prankees_."

"And you _know_ who's gotta be next...right, guys?"

Marceline's voice was smooth and the look on her face was pure mischief. It was only too clear what she was getting at.

Bubblegum's castle loomed right above them.

Finn's legs were wobbling. He was a pretty strong boy, but dang, this was a pretty heavy bucket.

"Hurry up, guys!" he hissed, stumbling backwards and almost tripping over a coil of rope on the ground. Dang, PeppBut should clean up after his demonic rituals more often. There were half-melted candles and hastily erased sigils between every other flower in this garden.

"Oh, hand it over, you big baby," teased Marceline, floating over and neatly snatching the bucket from his hands. It was almost as big as she was, but she carried it effortlessly. "That door _open_ yet?"

Jake was crouched by the castle's side door, wriggling his fingers in the lock. He withdrew his hand and slightly modified its key shape. "Almost!"

Marceline breezed over and held up the bucket, ready to balance it on top of the door as soon as Jake could prop it ajar. Assuming the door could even handle the bucket's weight, and assuming whoever came through was strong enough to push the bucket-laden door further open, someone was going to get a chilly surprise.

" _FINN!_ "

Finn nearly jumped out of his skin. That high, piercing, _rage-filled_ voice could only be—

"P-Princess?" he stammered.

Jake somersaulted back from the still-locked door, craning his neck to see. Princess Bubblegum was standing on the second-floor balcony above them, dressed to the nines in her most formal (and authoritative) royal outfit, and she was _glaring_.

Jake waved at her. "'Sup?"

" _YOU KNOW_ WHAT'S _'S'UP'!_ " Bubblegum shouted, banging her fist on the railing. The murky lighting of dusk just made her expression that much scarier. "I've been getting reports from all over the kingdom! What do you even think you're _doing?_ "

Finn shuffled his feet nervously. "I, um...it's Trickorween?"

"What? That old-timey pagan holiday? _Seriously?_ THAT'S why you're tormenting my people?!"

"I wouldn't say 'tormenting'," Finn squeaked. Jake, meanwhile, was less concerned with the possibility of P-Bubs hating him for all eternity or something, and carried himself with more confidence.

"Come on, Peebs, relax! It's totally a laugh and a half and also spiritually fulfilling with like religious benefits and stuff! It's good for everyone!"

But even Jake cowered under the force of Bubblegum's next scream.

" _YOU PUT A PERSON-SIZED PASTRY ON CINNAMON BUN'S PORCH AND WAITED FOR HIM TO STEP ON IT!_ _ **HE THOUGHT HE**_ MURDERED _ **SOMEONE, GUYS!**_ "

The echoes reverberated throughout the garden, the only noise in the otherwise dead silence. It wasn't until a few moments after the last one faded away that the Princess managed to pull herself together, centering herself with deep, shaky breaths.

"Finn, Jake," she said quietly but no less scarily, "I'm afraid I have no choice but to punish you for your crimes. Maybe a night in the slammer will help cool down your _aaaAAAAAAIIIIIIEEEEEEAAAAAAHH!_ "

She'd reached behind her to pull a rope attached to a bell that would summon the Banana Guards, not realizing that there were _two_ ropes dangling there, and that one was attached to a very large bucket floating just above her head. Yanking the rope had resulted in Marceline upending the bucket and dousing the princess in ice water.

Marceline and Jake laughed uproariously as Bubblegum sputtered with shock and outrage. Finn just crossed his arms and hoped his stomach would stop churning.

"Looks like _you're_ the one who's gonna have to cool down, _Bonnibel Buzzkill_ ," Marceline cackled, slapping the now-empty bucket on Bubblegum's head like a hat. Well, it _would've_ been like a hat if it hadn't been so big—as it was, it basically covered the drenched princess down to her knees.

The vampire swooped down and grabbed Finn and Jake, rocketing back over the Candy Kingdom walls just as Princess Bubblegum began to shriek some very un-princess-like words. A few chuckles and high-fives and "Did you see how she—?"s were exchanged.

"C'mon, we already sucked this place dry," said Marceline, licking her fangs demonstratively. "Who's next...?"

* * *

By sheer force of proximity, they wound up touching down at Banana Man's house. Finn was still a bit ill-at-ease (but at least it had been _Marcy_ who'd done the meanest thing, so maybe she'd only be mad at Marcy, and Finn hadn't really thought he was hurting anyone so he could still apologize and she'd be impressed by his maturity maybe?), though he was startled out of it when the three of them snuck up and peeked through the window.

Banana Man was settling in for a late dinner. He was eating a _banana sundae_.

"Groooooooss."

"Different yolks for different folks, son," Jake reminded him, though he was shuddering too. Marceline just rolled her eyes.

"Dude, you eat _hot dogs_."

"Pffffft! That's like, just a name! They're not _actually_ dogs."

Marceline raised her eyebrows. Jake blinked at her. Jake suddenly remembered Hot Dog Kingdom and blanched.

"Oh my glob, you guys, _stop_ ," Finn moaned.

Marceline smirked, but she _did_ let it drop, instead pulling a red bottle out of a hidden pocket. (Dang, that _had_ to be a real ninja suit.) "Okay then. Let's teach him a lesson for being such a sick weirdo freakazoid."

One might think that the previous conversation would've made Jake lose his appetite, but if one thought that, one didn't know Jake. He perked right up, taking the bottle and giving it an experimental sip. "YOWCH!" he yelped, sticking his sizzling tongue back out, but immediately grinned. "Hot sauce? _Classic_."

"C'mon." Marceline beckoned them closer to the window, forcing it open a crack. Banana Man seemed blissfully unaware of their presence, setting out toppings for his sinful supper. Jake held the bottle at the ready, waiting for his opportunity.

Finn flinched. "Ow! Stop jostling me!"

"No one's jostling you! You're jostling _yourself!_ "

Suddenly, there it was. A similarly-sized bottle of chocolate sauce was on the table, and Banana Man had his back to it. Jake stretched his arm through the gap in the window and swapped the bottles, retracting his hand just as Banana Man turned around.

"Here it comes," Jake whispered gleefully.

Banana Man didn't look at the label before he picked up the bottle. He didn't even notice that it was a different color. He was a perfect patsy.

He upended the bottle over his sundae...

"Huh?"

He shook the bottle.

He spanked the bottle's bottom.

He squinted inside the bottle.

"Awwwww, _empty?_ " he whined, chucking the bottle into a trash can. He pouted for a moment, then shrugged and started digging into his sundae.

The ninja clan dropped out of sight, pressing their backs against the wall.

"What was _THAT?_ " Marceline hissed irritably. "Jake, did you _seriously_ drink the last of the hot sauce?"

"Naw, man! That bottle was _full!_ " Jake stomped his foot in frustration, though Finn felt a tiny smidge of relief. "Maybe the rest of it was crusty and stuck to the sides?"

Marceline made some farting noises with her mouth. "Ugh, doesn't matter. That prank was lamesville anyway."

The three of them sat in silence for a moment, the sounds of Banana Man's slurping wafting obnoxiously through the still-open window.

"...Y'know, actually, _all_ these pranks have been pretty lamesville," Marceline finally said, rubbing her chin with a smirk. "We oughta step it up if we wanna please your elder god or whatever."

"Jackanapes," Jake corrected. "Though, he's not so much of an 'elder god'. More like an 'annoying uncle god'."

"Fine, yeah, okay. We gotta up the prank game. Do something more creative. Like..."

Finn saw an opening and lunged for it. "Hey, instead of pranking random dudes, why don't we prank a dude who's totally got it coming? Like a justice prank. That way, Prinuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhh, I mean, _nobody_ won't get mad! 'Will' get mad. Nobody will get mad. Except maybe the dude we prank. Because. Y'know."

Jake lit up and started giggling. " _Oh my glob_ ," he whispered. "We should _totally_ prank the Ice King!"

To both boys' surprise, Marceline _growled,_ face half-morphed into monster form. " _Ice King is off-limits_."

"Whaaaaaat? V-Queen, if _anyone_ deserves to be pranked, it's—"

" _OFF. LIMITS_." Marceline's tone became more casual, though her expression didn't change. "He's just some crusty old man. He won't even notice he's been pranked. ...Or _remember_."

"Hmmmm...hmmm, that's true." Jake shrugged, pondering.

"Okay, um, what aboooout that weirdo knight guy who was bugging us about the invincible armor thing?" Finn offered, wracking his brains. "He was basically evil, right?"

"Morality is fluid, man. Stop thinking about 'good' and 'evil'." At least Marceline seemed to have calmed down from her weird intense moment, stretching out in the grass. She was fully back in human/vamp/whatever form now. "What about, like, that rainicorn lady?"

"NO," Jake answered immediately. "No. NO. _No_. Nonono. No? NNNNO."

"Fine, fine, okay. But what about..."

It was line of sight again. The last glimmer of the setting sun peeked out from behind another house on the horizon.

* * *

"I don't like this," Finn said for the eighteenth time.

"Oh my glob, guy, just _suck it up!_ " hissed Marceline.

They were crouched in Tree Trunks' bathroom, Finn with his ear pressed to the door listening for her footsteps. He'd taken his ninja mask off and didn't really want to put it back on.

Marceline was rooting around in the cabinet under the sink. Jake was perched on the counter, painstakingly replacing Tree Trunks' liquid soap with honey. (He'd already finished clogging the sink drain with tea leaves.)

"Listen, man, this is hardly even a prank," Jake said consolingly. "It's more like...a surprise nice thing that inconveniences her a little. It's good!"

"Yeah, she'll have a _scalding_ good time," Marceline was cackling. She didn't seem to care that the pun-like thing she'd said wasn't even really a pun.

Finn grumbled.

When he stopped grumbling, his ears caught the little pitter-patter they'd been waiting for. "She's coming!" he whisper-shrieked, jumping away from the door. Jake popped the squirt-lid back on the soap dispenser and leapt off the counter just as Marceline closed the cabinet, her face brightly lit by the flame she'd set. Together, the three of them dove into the linen closet and shut themselves in.

There was a creak, and then a pause, and then the bathroom door opened and Tree Trunks waddled in. Three pairs of eyes watched her through the slits in the closet door.

"Oh my, my _my_ , this li'l body o' mine is getting' too old to handle such spicy cookin'," she was drawling, shaking her head. She was headed for the—

"She _wouldn't_ ," Finn whispered, horrorstruck. Somehow, they hadn't considered this.

She plopped herself onto the toilet.

After a series of noises that would haunt the trio's nightmares for weeks, Tree Trunks finished up her business with a flush and ambled over to the sink. "It'll be worth it," Jake was mumbling desperately, biting his fingers. "It'll be _worth_ it, it'll be _worth_ it, it'll be—"

Tree Trunks turned on the sink. She didn't snap her trunk away from the scalding-hot water, because it apparently wasn't. She hummed as she lathered up with what didn't look like honey, and the water trickled down the drain instead of getting clogged up and flavored by the tea leaves that were supposed to be stuffed in there. There were absolutely no indications that the bathroom was about to be flooded with a sinkful of sweet-smelling, honey-flavored tea.

Completely anticlimactically—and without even _realizing_ that it was anticlimactic—Tree Trunks shut off the faucet, dried her trunk on a towel, and left.

There was dead silence for about five minutes, except for the distant sounds of Tree Trunks clambering into bed.

"... _HOW?_ " Marceline finally managed, flinging open the door to the linen closet.

Jake was one step ahead of her, already stretching over to the counter. He licked the liquid soap dispenser and grimaced. "Okay, this was _not_ soap when I left it here!" he coughed, glancing into the sink. "And where're those tea leaves?"

Marceline was yanking on the apparently stuck cabinet door. "What in the—" she grunted, and then it flew open.

A gush of lukewarm water blasted her backwards. Her flailing feet slipped against the floor, and the almighty vampire queen fell hard on her butt in Tree Trunks' bathtub.

"Marceline, are you all—" Finn started, rushing forward to help her, but his feet flew out from under him and he careened into the tub on top of her.

"Finn, get OFF—"

"I'm trying, I—"

Marceline grabbed at the shower curtain and tried to pull herself up, but the force of her tug just brought the curtain crashing down on both of them. The whole time, they were continually drenched by the spout of warm, strangely tea-flavored water.

By the time they managed to struggle to their feet, Jake had braved the deluge and managed to shut off the water, though of course he'd also gotten soaked in the process. "Look at this," he gasped, peering into the cabinet. "There's a string tied 'tween the water pipe and the door, so's the pipe'd break when the door was opened! An' the water spout would strain through these tea leaves hung right in the doorway! _MY_ TEA LEAVES!"

Finn tried to step closer to investigate, but his foot slid on the floor again. He got down on all fours and took a look. "Hey...the floor's smeared with _honey!_ "

"And that fire I set is in a different spot!" Marceline yelped. She'd been able to float over that obstacle and was now beside Jake at the cabinet. The little flame-filled jar had even left a trail in the dust to back up her statement. "Look! I put it _right below_ that pipe, but now it's off to the side! _That's_ why it didn't get Tree Trunks—it was too far away when the pipe was in its usual place! It's only when it broke and got swung around that the flame was close enough to warm it!"

Finn thought he saw a flicker of movement in the corner of his eyes, but when he looked there was nothing there. He shivered.

"Guys, I think this is a sign," he said in a hushed voice. "Maybe the Great God Jackanapes is trying to stop us from pranking peeps."

"Are you nuts?" Jake demanded. "Pranking is the cornerstone of Trickorween!"

"UUUUUUUUU _AAAAAAAAAAAAARGGHHHH!_ "

It was a good thing Tree Trunks was such a heavy sleeper. Marceline followed up her frustrated scream with a hearty kick to the toilet (ohh, that _toilet_...) before banging her fists on the counter.

"Marceline, it's okay—" Finn tried, but she silenced him with a motion.

" _Nothing_ is gonna stop this prank train," she growled, squeezing tea water out of her sleeve. She turned to face the boys, and the black of her ninja suit against the darkness almost made her look like a floating disembodied face above the sink.

"We're gonna do it," the face hissed. "We're gonna do... _mega-prank._ "

Jake's jaw dropped, and he actually fell over. "The...the legendary prank?" he wheezed, fanning himself in his excitement. "You know what it _is?_ "

" _Know_ it? I've _pulled it off_."

The disembodied face smiled, and it wasn't an endearing quirky smile—it was _nasty_.

"And _nothing's_ gonna screw it up."

* * *

As far as Finn could tell, the premise behind "mega-prank" was "quantity equals quality".

It took all night to set it up around Lumpy Space Princess' campsite, though the blob girl obliged by snoring obliviously through it all. Jake had explained that Jackanapes favored hapless prankees, the sort of people who practically _invited_ Trickorweeners to prank them just by virtue of being vulnerable. Though this logic didn't agree with his moral code in the least, Finn had to agree that LSP was one of the most hapless people he knew. As for Marceline, she didn't seem to care who they were pranking or even why, so long as there _was_ a prank.

Finn had tried to beg them not to do it, had refused to help them set up, had even tried to wake LSP to no avail. Now he just hid reluctantly with his cohorts in some nearby bushes, watching the booby-trapped campsite inside the forest clearing and hoping it would all be over soon.

When Marceline gave the signal, Jake formed his lips into a megaphone and shouted. "OH MAH GLOB, DID YOU _HEAR_ WHAT _MELISSA_ SAID TO _BRAD?!_ "

"GURL, YOU _BETTER_ TELL ME!" Lumpy Space Princess hollered, sitting bolt upright in bed—and slamming her forehead against the coffee table that'd been placed over her while she slept. As she reeled from the blow, she began to realize that she couldn't move her arms, and as her frantic wriggling dislodged her blanket, LSP saw that her whole body had been mummified in plastic wrap. She flopped around frantically on the ground, trying to inch out from underneath the coffee table, only to tumble into the sea of marbles that had been scattered across the forest clearing. She was sent spinning wildly, screaming the whole time, bouncing off the surrounding ring of trees like a pinball until she hit That Tree. That Tree, which, when hit, dislodged the several dozen water balloons in its branches and sent them pelting down onto the royal blob. They burst on impact, and were filled not with water but with _paste_ , drowning her in goop even as the shaking of the tree released a weight that yanked on a rope that flipped a switch that turned on a fan across the clearing. Between the fan and LSP was a stretched web _teeming_ with tiny spiders, which were blown by the force of the fan into the sticky mess that had once been a peacefully snoring camper. The trapped arachnids flailed horrifyingly all over her body, marbles were embedded in hard-to-reach places, and the combination of the constricting plastic wrap and the paste pinning her to the ground meant she could do nothing but emit terror-stricken, lung-bursting screeches.

That...was the _plan_.

Step one worked out all right. Jake's shout woke Lumpy Space Princess instantly, but as she sat up, the coffee table _moved out of the way_. Not only that, it continued inching backward...and with a stray end of the plastic wrap stuck to it, so it unraveled LSP's cocoon as it went. She and the spectators stared at it in shock. Even the surrounding trees were bending slightly—and, Finn slowly noticed, in the same direction that the table was moving.

"WHAT THE GLOBFORKING MOTHERDAWG _SQUOOZLE?!_ " Marceline shrieked, leaping to her feet.

Her timing was _perfect_. Right at that moment, the mysterious bending of That Tree set off the pulley system that activated the fan, blowing the tiny spiders out of their web. They landed on the unraveled ream of plastic wrap connecting LSP and the mobile coffee table—they _bounced off of it_ and—

"AAAAAAAAIIIIIEEEEE!" Jake screamed as they all leaped out of the way. Most of the spiders sailed past them (but not _all_ , ew ew ew _eeeeeewwww_ ), but in their haste to escape, the ninja trio had forgotten about the marbles. They went _sprawling_ , bouncing painfully on the hard little orbs, still squirming to dislodge those gross spiders while LSP watched in terrified confusion. Marceline was tossed into the smoldering ashes of a campfire and yelped with pain. Jake got a faceful of half-eaten bean soup. Finn was tossed clear, sailing between the trees and landing on—

"A _wood magnet?_ " he wheezed once the dizziness stopped. Sure enough, the undescribable thing he'd fallen onto was a wood magnet. But the force of his landing had knocked it out of commission, and it was no longer attracting the coffee table and trees.

The loss of the magnetic pull made That Tree snap back upright, and _that_ sent its payload flying.

" _NOOOOO!_ " cried the would-be pranksters, scrambling to escape, but the balloons rained down on them anyways. The paste explosions rang out like gunshots, splattering all over the clearing and gluing Finn, Jake and Marceline to the ground on all fours. Struggle as they might, they couldn't break free.

"WHAT IS _HAPPENING?_ " Lumpy Space Princess wailed, clutching at her blanket.

The sound of her voice attracted the spiders. They came bursting out of the bushes, already angered by their unexpected flight, and scuttled madly toward their glue-covered victims.

...But they never got there.

Which, contrary to what one might expect, was a _bad thing_.

The spiders never reached them because a _pillar of flame_ erupted from the ground between our "heroes" and the spider battalion. It was followed by another, and another, and _another_ , a massive ring of fire springing up around the perimeter of the campsite. The immobile Finn, Jake and Marceline could only watch in horror as they and their screaming almost-prankee were walled in.

The blaze reached the first tree and it went up like a match. Soon half the forest was burning and the treetops were _exploding_ , the flames setting off firecrackers that had apparently been hidden among the leaves. Ghostly red sparks lit up the night sky as shriveled charcoal branches dropped from the trees only to be immediately consumed by the growing inferno below.

"So this is how I die," Jake whimpered, his voice almost inaudible. "Covered in marbles, glue and terror pee."

Marceline was silent, but her expression said it all.

"I _told_ you guys!" squeaked Finn, screwing his eyes shut as a stray spark landed _way too close_ to his face. "We should _never_ have pulled those pranks! It was mean and wrong, and we _should've_ stopped once they started getting kronked, but now we're paying the price for our huuuuuuuubris!"

He flinched backward as the too-close spark suddenly flared up again just below his chin. The trapped trio watched in morbid fascination as that spark set off a chain reaction, spreading flame trails in loop-de-loops around the marble-strewn campsite. Loop-de-loops...loop-de-loops that looked almost like...

"Wait a minute," mumbled Marceline, craning her neck. She squinted, searching for the angle she wanted...and finally saw the pattern.

" 'Hoisted on your own petard'," she read from the flaming cursive script set out before them in forced perspective, clearly meant to be read at the eye level of miserable pranksters glued to the ground, " 'by none other than...' "

The flames went out.

And not by themselves. They had a lot of help from dozens of buckets of ice water dumped out of the blimp that had suddenly become non-invisible overhead. At the same time, a figure became non-invisible, strolling calmly into the ash-ringed clearing.

The figure was tall and bulky, wearing old-timey samurai armor. It was hard to tell in the moonlight, but the armor seemed very _pink_.

"Are you _proud_ of yourselves?" demanded Princess Bubblegum.

" _WHAT?!_ " Jake screamed as they all gazed openmouthed at her. He thrashed wildly against the constricting glue. "Peebs, you almost _killed_ us!"

She snorted. "I wouldn't have if you guys had just _stopped_ when I told you to. But clearly _some people_ only respond to force."

" _I_ wanted to stop when you told us to," Finn mumbled, but nobody cared.

Marceline rolled her eyes and pretended to laugh. "Ha, yeah, well, you got us there, Bonnie," she droned, letting her face drop into the moist earth. "So we all learned our lesson and now we can just go home."

"You _wish_ ," Bubblegum spat. She crossed her arms triumphantly. "That glue won't wear off for at _least_ a few hours. It'll be just like spending the night in jail! Except you'll be exposed to the harsh unforgiving elements and the spiders will probably come back."

The ring of fire sprang back up around them. Finn squealed with fright.

" _Very funny_ , Princess!" Jake shouted, voice cracking slightly. "Now _knock it off!_ "

Princess Bubblegum was just staring.

"... _I didn't do that_."

The flames, even to a group of people who'd just been doused with ice water, were not hot. They didn't even look quite like flames. They were a deep purple, almost black, and gave off an eerie light.

Organ music was playing.

The flames began to spin and dance, keeping time with the music. Bubblegum stepped back, huddling close to the horrified group. Unearthly laughter echoed around them, seeming to come from everywhere and nowhere all at once.

" **Truly, the most magnificent prank that has ever been pranked!** " a raspy, distorted voice cried. " **The most magnificent prank ever to be played on Trickorween!** _ **The pranksters pranked into pranking themselves!**_ "

The flames colorshifted into a bright blue-white as the ground suddenly _bulged_ in front of them. The earth expanded and broke open like a bubble under putty, sending burnt wood and marbles skittering everywhere. An enormous creature burst from the ground in front of them, laughing all the while, a hideous beast of flailing tentacles and beady eyes and, right in the middle of the whole horrifying mess, a red rubber clown nose.

Jake wheezed. " _The Great God Jackanapes._ "

Jackanapes completed his ascension, levitating above the ground, tentacles undulating in midair. Everyone was frozen in horror, waiting to see what he would do.

Slowly, very slowly, a tentacle uncoiled and began to stretch towards Princess Bubblegum. Finn let out a silent scream.

The very tip of the tentacle just barely touched the center of Bubblegum's unblinking, sweat-ridden face. Then the tentacle twisted into a small knot, the tip visibly poking out of it.

The Great God Jackanapes grinned.

" **Got your nose.** "

The flames winked out of existence. Jackanapes guffawed uproariously, slapping the ground with his tentacles. Then he wiped his eyes and calmly floated off towards the breaking dawn.

Slowly the tension in the little group dissipated. Bubblegum gritted her teeth.

" _See?_ " she grumbled. "You didn't listen to me, and now that annoying nuisance is loose on Ooo. Great job, guys."

Marceline let out a barking laugh. "Ooooooh no, Princess. _You_ pulled the greatest prank of all time and _that's_ what let old Jacky outta the god dimension."

"I did _not_ ," Bubblegum huffed, but her cheeks had reddened.

The candy blimp was already following Jackanapes into the distance, and the Princess began to trudge after it, mumbling calculations to do with interdimensional portals and anti-humor weaponry. Finn, Jake and Marceline were left to serve out their pretend jail sentence in their paste shackles.

" _Ugh_ ," Lumpy Space Princess moaned, pulling the tattered, charred, water-soaked remains of her blanket up to her chin. "I'm goin' back to bed."


End file.
